Monday, April 30, 2012

The Bigger Story..............

Today Luke and I were sitting on a bench eating Yo Yogurt and trying to have a "normal" conversation.  Can talking about the death of your brother and son ever be "normal"?    We have been forced to realize, it is now our "normal".  It was actually a very precious time.  We talked about how we were going to keep Ryan's memory alive by continuing to tell Ryan stories, celebrate his birthday, celebrate the joy he brought, and continues to bring.  We realized telling Ryan stories are not what causes us to get choked up....those make us laugh.   What causes tears are the stories we hear about how his death has caused heart changes.  That chokes us up because that is the "Bigger Story".  These stories are the reason we believe Ryan was called home to be with his Savior.

I must be honest....Luke and I also talked about how when we look at "Our Story" vs "The Big Story" our thoughts bring us to wondering why Ryan's life had to be used to wake people up.  I don't think you will be surprised that our thoughts take us there.   I shared with Luke that today these thoughts reminded me of how Mary, Jesus' mother must have felt.  I am in no way comparing Ryan to Jesus, but rather comparing how two mothers lost a son for the good of others.  And that is truly what I believe.  Ryan's death has brought good to others.  Let me share some of "The Bigger Story";

  • New families  coming to church because they attended Ryan's funeral
  • Hearts turned toward God
  • Bible Studies starting up
  • Mentoring relationships started
  • Re commitments to God
  • Eyes opened to a life of hope and faith
  • More to come.............

So what really grips our hearts is "The Bigger Story" because this is what we know Ryan is dancing in heaven about.  When stories are shared I can almost hear the little tinkle of a bell like in the movie, 'It Is A Wonderful Life' when an angel got its wings.  Every time there is a tinkle I can see Ryan giving Jesus a high five and doing a happy dance.  I KNOW that he is more than happy to be the sacrifice in order for lives to be changed, hope to be found and faith to be strengthened.  That was the passion of his life on earth and the joy of his heart in heaven.


  1. I was thinking that the other day: that if there was any one of my friends who would volunteer to give up his life for the bigger picture in the kingdom of Christ, Ryan would have been the first one to say "I do." That's just who Ryan was - that was his passion. Giving it all for the Saviour.

    Doesn't always make it easier for those of us who loved him here, but the image of Ryan doing a happy dance at Jesus' side makes my heart smile. He IS more than happy to be the sacrifice. I will believe that every day.

    Thank you for your blogs, Gail.
    Warmth and love,

  2. It is a blessing to me to read your blogs every day. I follow your grief and spiritual growth and I can slso envision Ryan in glory with so many others rejoicing in his Savior. You are right on with so many of your observations and I stand amazed at your candor! God is working in you to be His speaker right now because of the hardest thing a mother will go through. You are always glorifying Him even in your deepest pain. Still praying for your comfort in Christ.

  3. Amen and praise the Lord. Continuing to lift you all up as the journey of life goes on....