Sunday, May 6, 2012

Shared Grief................

I read that Grief is the aftermath of significant loss and that it is more than sorrow, but a rawness you feel at the center of your being.   I'm very aware of this aftermath and rawness they are talking is after the shock of the loss and smack dab in the middle of the reality of the hole left in your life.  The hole is so visible in the eyes of those left behind.

My writing this blog has been a reflection of my personal journey through pain, loss and sorrow....grief.  Others have asked how the rest of my family is doing.  They are on their own journeys and I have not wanted to speak for them....but their hole is deep and raw, just like mine; each of us trying to push through this grief in our own way.  It takes effort to understand each other's journey as we are often in our own secret place of grief and unable to formulate our thoughts.

I came home from a four day convention last night and became very aware of the individual journeys my family are on.  It was easy for me to go away and focus on my own journey for four days.....but I left behind my loved ones who are journeying themselves.  Taking myself out of the pit of grief and then coming back in helped me see the acute pain we are ALL working through.  My last journal was cautioning myself about getting stuck out on emotional islands.  As a family grieves it would be so easy to focus on our individual islands of grief and not be there to pull each other back to the mainland.  The best way I know how to do that is to keep encouraging one another to speak and feel our emotions.  When we can express our emotions and force ourselves to verbalize and not "stuff", the healing process can begin.

Pray for us as we allow individual journeys, but actively work through our grief and not hide it.  We must do this as we try and live our normal lives; graduation, end of school,  planning for the future, work, ministry....LIFE!   But as Charles Swindoll said, "A teardrop on earth summons the King!"  I'm so grateful that through this journey we have the Great Comforter going before us and coming behind us.

Rob, Luke, Tom, Gail, Amanda, Ryan

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

It is a promise, and I believe it!


  1. I cannot put into words how much your story puts truth into my life and draws me closer to the Lord

  2. Gail

    My sister went to school with Ryan. I just began reading your blog and I cannot tell you how blessed I am to be able to read your story. I will pray for you and your family. I want to thank you for raising Ryan. He obviously impacted so many lives and God used his life in an amazing way. Ryan touched my baby sister and her faith is continuing to grow and for that I am forever thankful for your son. I am a mother of 3 and I hope that I can one day say some of the things you have said about Ryan, about my kiddos. May they have the fire of Christ in their hearts and the desire to love and serve others as your son did. Thank you for your boldness, truth and willingness to share. May God's grace cover you and your loved ones.


    Deena Pettit

  3. Mrs. Wahl,
    I want you to know that your blog has reached all the way down into Texas. As I have followed your blog, I have been so blessed and encouraged as I watch you journey through your own grief and yet remain faithful to our Lord. I have silently grieved with you, and I have also been urged to lean into some of my own grief. I praise the Lord for your testimony of grieving well. What a tremendous witness. May your family be blessed as you continue to walk, and at times, be carried, in our one, true Hope: Jesus!

  4. I didn't know Ryan but I am from your area and I recently lost someone in my family. What God has shown me is that we can not always understand his plans or his timing. But I have found that God doesn't always ask us to understand, he just asks us trust him and rely on what he gives us. So I hope that you and your family can continue to find strength in each other and trust God and the plan that he has for all of you.