Saturday, June 16, 2012

Abide my beloved daughter.........

Daughter, beloved, abide.........These three words  have been swirling around in my head since my last blog.  I say swirl because I haven't had much time to process them as life doesn't wait for continues to move and we must move with it.  But today is the day I will let them sink in.  I knew I was going to need some time to really process these words because of the impact they were going to have on my life.

These three words; daughter, beloved, abide, were brought into my life in the last couple weeks through three different means.  Daughter was whispered into my ear by one of our pastors at Woodmen Valley Chapel.  I was asking prayer for the ability to "Do Ryan's death well" and he simply said, "I'm going to pray that you will simply allow yourself to just be His daughter."   Man, was I washed in peace; it sounded like so much less work, and I was tired. Focus on being loved vs "doing" sounded great!  As my own children rely on me for unconditional love, boundaries, acceptance, I can rely on my Savior and know that He is without my shortcomings as a parent; He is without flaws.  As I love my children with an intense love, Christ loves me even more with His perfect love. So as His daughter I can rest in Him with complete confidence.


"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,' says the Lord Almighty." (2 Corinthians 6:17-18)

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1)


"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  (John 3:16)

I have some idea of what it means to sacrifice your son for others. I don't compare Ryan to Jesus in any way, but I do know what it feels like to lose your son for a greater purpose.  I have an inkling of the depth of love that this would take.  Jesus' death was much more painful, long and excruciating and I CANNOT imagine the pain that came from watching this take place.  But God did this for me.  He did this so I can have eternal life.  He did this for Ryan who is now experiencing that eternal life in full color.  He did this for everyone. 

The second word; beloved (be-loved), came to me in a devotion at work.  My co-worker was sharing what he was learning about truly being Christ's beloved. As I heard that word, peace just washed over me.  I looked up what the word "beloved" means.  In Greek beloved is "agapetos" which means "loved with agape" - love that is deep, active, self-sacrificing and absolutely unconditionalit doesn't have to be earned.   I may never fully comprehend the love of God, but for today I can be encouraged that I have been called beloved” and will continue to move toward understanding and receiving more of His kind of love for in learning to receive this love I believe it will allow me to trust God even when everything falls apart.  I want my core identity to be as God's beloved.


"Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is"(I John 3:1)

"And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."  Colossians 3:12

The third word, abide, came to me in a devotion I read and again, it resonated so deeply with me. When I think of "abiding in Christ" I picture an intimate, close relationship and not just a superficial acquaintance. It requires KNOWING God so that I can know what it means to be LIKE Him and to think like Him.  He will not make me think like Him.  It is an action on my part. I have to determine to "...bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)  I have to choose to abide. It doesn't matter what my circumstances are, I can still abide in him if I choose to.  It takes practice to abide but practice makes perfect!


"Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children."(Ephesians 5:5)

"I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

I'm sensing a theme here...Abide, my beloved daughter.

So instead of making it my job to "Do Ryan's death well" I am going to attempt to make it my practice to abide as His beloved daughter and let Him do the work.


  1. I can't always read these as I feel your pain so deeply. Hurt affects me greatly - even when it is someone else's hurt. But today I was moved to read, and I am glad I did. I will share this as I know so many people who need to feel loved, who are so very lonely, and GOD loves them. They need to abide as His beloved Child, so they too can experience some peace that people around them are not able to offer.
    ~ your cousin - Kelly Kay

  2. Dear Gail,
    I think the Holy Spirit spoke through your pastor, your co-worker, and your devotional in giving you the key to doing Ryan's death well. I haven't thought of grieving in those terms before.
    Blessed be the Lord Who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Ps.68:19
    Thank you for letting us share in your walk -- both sorrow and recovery -- through your writings. They are beautiful. They are a gift to the Body.

  3. Praying for you Gail as you journey this road. Your words are truly an inspiration to us all. Tresa